I wore them to the office Christmas party, where I finally got to meet my boss, the Senator (imagine working for a person for four months and never even meeting them!). They were a total hit...as in, people were totally hitting on me. I had the time of my life, Patrick Swayze-style. In fact, you might say I went "Swayze Crayze", and the next morning, I was feeling no pain.
So kids, it's official: I am back on the market.
Gentlemen, please take a number.